Biking in December

I've been trying to get Tensley on a training wheel bike...maybe if I get her a pink one...

Orson's expressions make any picture of him awesome.

Anyone recognize this red bike? Don't let the pegs throw you.

Softball in December

I was able to make a movie with my new camera with them hitting the ball, but blogger wouldn't take it. Here are a couple shots each with the softball I strung up to a tree like dad used to do.

Anthem to my King. Voice: Mindy Gledhill. Background/backup voices: Octapella.

I saw this posted on a blog or on facebook attached to I think the 5-minute video missionaries show at Christmas time. Anyway, I apologize for proper acknowledgment as I had to find the song afterward. I googled the lyrics and could not find anything, so I wrote them out. Posting them here now for myself and anyone else that may be interested.

ANTHEM TO MY KING

Holy Father with humble voice I raise

An Anthem to my King

May the Heavens find a way to hear

Those words I cannot sing

Lord with everlasting praise will Thee I worship endless days

Let this voice of gladness bring glory to thy name

Lord with everlasting praise will Thee I worship endless days

Let my voice of gladness bring glory to thy name

Father, our grateful voices raise an anthem to our king

May the heavens write on every heart

The words we cannot sing

Lord with everlasting praise will Thee we worship endless days

Let our voices of gladness bring glory to thy name

Father with grateful voices

Now we raise an Anthem to our…

Holy Father with grateful voice I raise

An Anthem to my King

There is a background voice while the choir of men's voices is singing in the second half. I didn't have the 'desire' if you will to figure out exactly those words. I think it is just one of the men singing slowly some of the same words. Sorry :|

Number 2, Number 3, Number 4 and Number 6

Here's the little one on mommy after I brought the three older siblings back to visit. Up close you can see a slight highlighting to her blond hair.
The three older ones loved meeting their new sister. They did very well being gentle with her and picked up the name 'Adelaide' quite well. Orson and Connor were relentless with questions about how she got out, what she can do, what she can eat, why mommy has two milk producers to feed her...I mean wow can they come up with endless questions or what!

Sarah did quite well today. Adelaide was born at 1428 which is Sarah's magic time of day (230). Her hard contractions started at 0300, so you might say she was in labor for 12 or so hours. She woke me up at 05 and we napped together out by the Christmas tree counting the contractions and analyzing them. They finally brought her to tears and she convinced me we could try the hospital again (yesterday they sent us home after her contractions stopped altogether).

The kiddos were already at the France's house on a sleepover, as we weren't sure when we were going back. Kelly and Matt France are Saints for taking our children for 48 hours straight. No matter what we do we will never be able to repay them....Thanks Matt and Kelly!

We showed up at the hospital and Sarah was already at a 5, with regular contractions and effaced to 90%. They gave her a room, setup her IV and got the epidural started (her back and forth about going natural quickly dissipated in the early hours of hard contractions). After getting all setup, they checked her again and she was at a 7 after only an hour. She was coming along nicely. From about 8 or so to 1 she didn't budge past a 7. They decided to give her pitocin and see if it would speed things up (they also broke her water earlier, I will have to check with Sarah to see when).

After an hour or so of pitocin they checked her and she was a 9 1/2. They got setup for delivery. From 1405-1427 she pushed hard. We all thought Adelaide would pop out with two pushes but it took a bit. She arrived pretty easily though and after the suction applied to her lungs (and a bit of effort as she didn't want to cry too hard to work the lungs free from all the liquid), she stabilized and immediately started sucking for milk.

When she first came out I was so focused on the fact that Sarah's hard work was over, the baby was out, I forgot to immediately look for the sex. Gratefully the nurses reminded me to tell Sarah what we had so I could tell. It was a sweet moment where I got to bear the better of the two versions to Sarah. We were in trouble otherwise as we had whittled our boy names down to zero.

Mommy and baby are doing well. Plans are for them to come home tomorrow afternoon after Addy's....Addie's...first hearing check. The siblings are excited and so are mommy and daddy. Thanks for all the support and prayers from friends and family. We love you all.

As for the numbers. Connor and Orson were all about equalizing the family with three girls to the already three boys, so Adelaide is the second sister, third girl, fourth child and sixth member of the family.

The Reason for it All

After feeling frustrated for so long because I'm not able to articulate my theory on the matter well enough, I have given up trying to clarify further in my head what I badly wish to express to friends who have left the church with poor excuses to do so.

Some excuses I hear have to do with Joseph Smith Jr. In fact, off the top of my head, all personal acquaintances who have left the church in some form have ultimately blamed it on one part or another of the Joseph Smith story, Joseph specifically, etc. To be fair, this would seem the most logical and in general better excuse to have for leaving, as the church pretty much rises or falls on Joseph.
But does it? I mean if the story was ultimately false would everyone discount the 'personal witness' born to them by the Spirit? Would people find the Book of Mormon less inspiring as they read it? I am sure. Yet will everyone? I highly doubt it. What makes the difference between these two groups of people? I would contend ONE difference is flexibility within their belief system.
One friend that left the church couldn't reconcile what he thought to be proper Prophet actions to what he read about Joseph Smith Jr. My interpretation: inflexibility. If one cannot permit a Prophet to maintain human fallibility, the foundation for your faith wasn't set properly.
Another friend is merely projecting blame onto Joseph as Joseph is the easiest and most logical object for that blame when one's life isn't up to the standard you grew up with and have been led to believe in. Because you grew up believing this standard, a very heavy guilt often follows actions that a highly conservative religious upbringing will give. If not properly shed, the guilt and shame will be your downfall as you cannot reconcile your life with what you were taught your actions should be. You then project these feelings onto another...usually the church in some form or fashion.
Getting rid of enough guilt, finding flexibility in your faith to the point where you can allow two seemingly opposing ideas to coexist within your beliefs...this is my argument to those who fall away. This is why I am on here arguing against far-right conservatism and arguing for a more liberal approach, not just to politics, but to your faith, as I find it is essential to many. This is just my perspective, but it seems that if those I watched fall away would have applied this theory long before they decided to leave, they wouldn't be where they are today.

Chasing yellow and other biking related thoughts

Today was the third mid-November day in a row that maintained good weather for biking. As a Saturday, many cyclists hit Academy for a ride. about a quarter mile ahead of me after every corner was a yellow jersey that I just couldn't catch. Now, the cyclists one can't catch are usually far beyond a quarter mile ahead so you more often than not don't see them. You usually only see the ones you eventually overtake. So chasing someone that you can't catch is somewhat of a rare occasion, no matter your level of fitness on a bike. It is a helpful experience though as it reminds you that you aren't as fast as you sometimes think you might be.

So I was talking to an employee at my lbs and they quietly told me of a cheap method of co2 cartridges. You go to walmart and buy them. They are the same size and capacity. Our walmart carries this brand you see here, but they are drastically cheaper. I have yet to try them, but if they work out well, I will use them much more as the cartridges you buy at lbs are quite pricey.

My last thought brings me back to all the cyclists I saw out riding today. It seems a lot of riders go out in pairs or groups. I don't mind riding by myself. I can do my own thing, go my own pace, ride my own course, etc. Yet, every once in awhile its nice to ride with someone, especially people you enjoy riding with. I am jealous of those people who have others to ride with whenever they want. I am sure to a point it is my own fault for not networking somehow and joining groups to ride with. But the point that I am not pointing out here is that I miss my brothers whom I enjoy riding with. I don't necessarily enjoy riding with people I just met, even though they could be the nicest people on planet earth. Oh well. Ride on.

Prioritizing Laws

I had a 'run-in' with someone holding a different political sway at work and it got me thinking a bit. Is it all about what law you hold above other laws? For instance, the 'run-in' at work was about Ken Buck and how he believes all abortions should be illegal, no ifs and or buts. This opposing side didn't seem that bothered by that and went on a rant about murder. I thought about how it could be a mere matter of holding physical life laws above freedom of will or choice. I don't see that being 'resolved' anytime soon, but it just got me thinking a little. Religious people that believe in an afterlife will consider certain principles to be higher than others. What is ironic is that because of my religious beliefs, I argue for freedom of choice above physical life, something that the religious right seems to argue the opposite of.
Anyway, God's laws and man's laws are obviously tiered. It is interesting when we have to tier them in a moments notice and decide which ones to break and which ones to keep. For the most part I think most humans tier the laws similarly. Stephen King movies do well to show this moral conflict and how people work through it. There is something deeper here to discuss, I am working midshifts currently so it isn't happening at this particular time. :)

What's wrong with me?

So I am at it again.
We sold our suburban and bought an outback. I commuted with the 'burb so we thought it best to stop doing that with such an old, gas-guzzling vehicle. We enjoy the outback so far. It's a '98 with a good history of maintenance. We want to get rid of the minivan and try a tahoe or suburban for Sarah to drive around, at least when she has more than two kids. We'll see :)
What we do know is that I have a commitment issue with cars.

The Batman/Indiana Birthday Boy

Connor is seven years old today and I don't know how to feel about it. He wears a timex watch now, teases his mom almost as much as I do, reads well, and is quite interested in way too many things to keep track of. He had friends over today and let me just say in short how grateful I am to have married Sarah :)
This cake is Sarah's latest, although I did help her a little. Connor was very happy to hear from many family members and thanks all who wished him a happy birthday, which, it turned out to be a very happy day for him :)

Happy Halloween

I neglected to post these before I posted about the toilets. Anyway, here we have our three trunk-or-treaters. We decided not to trick-or-treat Sunday night this year and be satisfied with trunk-or-treating Saturday night at the church. We had fun, the kids had fun, they enjoyed their costumes and candy was minimal, which I thought was great. Connor was quite polite going around, while Tensley had to tell everyone that she was Tinkerbell while Orson was just sort of chillin' as he always does, watching other kids, not paying attention to his surroundings as he gazed at different costumes and different looking adults who handed him candy.

Kneel before the new Porcelain Gods!

So Colorado Springs Utilities made my decision easier to buy two new toilets for my house since they offer rebates for water-saving toilets. The basement toilet has a stamp on the inside of the tank with a 1974 date. The other one doesn't seem so old, but it was time for both of them to pass on. It did happen to be clogged, but I was tired of unclogging it just to find it clogged weeks later. I wasn't sure how hard this was going to be, but it took me all of half a day from purchase to christening them :). I was surprised at how easy they actually are to replace.

Stats and....tats.

Have you ever looked at the stats of your blog? I find them interesting and I also find myself motivated to blog more because of them. This may be a poor excuse to blog though...to tweak stats. It almost sounds like I am making the first move toward learning how to be a public figure. I have been enjoying my blog though. The thoughts in my brain always seem better than after I type them out or speak them, but I do seem to be refining the process so they match up a little better over time.

I am a 'bloggernacle' or ldsblogs.com peruse-er. There I find commonality in thought when I don't feel it at church. Lately I have been feeling like quite the outsider at church. I find I side with the atheists and general nonbelievers at work more often than the believers....whatever the denomination. I skip Sunday school because I can only take two hours of 'it' on most Sundays. I am surprised I haven't bitten my tongue clear off by now after all the misconceptions, misquotes and false doctrine that either explicitly or implicitly gets thrown around like the common cold on Sundays at any given church house.

The problem from my point of view I hesitate to say. Only because I feel I am kicking a dead horse. I feel that I have thrown this argument down for everyone to see, and it's getting old. I recently spoke of truth and error on here. I was and still am guilty of spreading myth and rumor. I also spoke of history and how pictures painted of certain histories has more color than those that are eternally posing for their pictures to be painted.

One of those rumors is a popular one about the judgment bar at the very end. We stand there and get to review not only our lives but the history of the world in one form or another. We will 'view' events like a movie that is playing. One take on our lives is that repentance 'edits' out parts of our lives like they never happened and the rest we get to watch with Jesus, whether we want to or not. I just think it is interesting what people come up with.

Should I feel guilty and ashamed for how I act and feel? Should I, as a fellow Christian argue against silly doctrine that sprouts from ignorance and flourishes in the hearts of blind followers? Should I be expected to sit and listen to self-righteous 'Saints' give their superior perspective on life, faith, history and doctrine? I keep analyzing my life and how I want my kids to be raised. I am always questioning what path I want them to follow. Do I want this to be their life? Do I want them to be able to take their religion seriously, but be able to look at it and laugh as well? I always considered my ability to do so unique, something not everyone can do. You either have to choose to embrace one version or choose to stop believing altogether. A small percentage can look at many aspects of the church, say I don't believe that, and still go to church and worship. How do I give that to my children?

I am just finding myself tired. I am tired of feeling alone in my thoughts. Ironic, how I just posted about the need to have alone time.
Yet, it would be nice to interact with people with similar belief systems. I remember just not too long ago back at my last base, seeing fellow members on the flightline. It gave a sense of validation to my Mormonism and it felt good. I don't have that in my current squadron. True, my current squadron isn't even a fifth of the size, but that doesn't make me feel any better at work on any given day. The only 'home' I can give my thoughts and feelings in this aspect is in the small world of the bloggernacle at ldsblogs.com and similar 'homepages' where blogs are listed. Granted not all of them share common threads of opinion. This is the point; to have your blog linked to a mothership of blog links on a one page to share your opinions, whether they are in line with church teachings or not. I don't feel my thoughts are coherent enough, consistently posted, or even 'smart' enough to be there, among many other reasons.

Anyway. 'tis the season to miss home and miss my dad. I don't know why, since the recent run of dreams of dad ended weeks ago. Always pleasant, always with a theme of wishing he was there to spend time with. I miss his tired arms wrapped around me, speaking just as much of an "I love you" as they are "let me rest here a moment". I miss the bike rides. I know when I take my boys out that it just isn't the same without a car radio hooked up to a car battery and a dog. I miss the woodpiles oddly enough. I grew to love them. The sense of security they gave...always translating to a warm house. I miss the quiet yard at night when all you hear was the creaking of the tree house and the trickling of waterfalls. I miss helmet and 'The Cyclist' store where we went for all our biking needs. Dad let me go pick out a new cogset one year as I thought I needed a smaller-toothed one for descents. I remember getting bar-ends, after Bryan I think got them.
So many miles. So many emotions. So much longing for yesterday. I will get up tomorrow morning and put all these childish things aside for another time. I will put them aside, not forgotten, never resolved.

Sociability

What makes a person inclined either way for sociability? Why does Sarah literally go crazy if she is stuck on an island alone, while I thrive? What inside me goes crazy when I don't get sufficient alone time? It seems quite interesting to me given the possible range of sociability in humans, and Sarah and I maybe aren't polar opposites, but are quite far off the middle in opposite directions. My day can be determined by how much social interaction I get, including my family (although they aren't as bad as outside that realm) and Sarah's day can be determined the same way (I won't presume to know if it is reversed for family members in her case. I would guess that she needs outside interaction, but not as drastically as I need to not). I will say I have gotten better over the years, the military being one big help in this regard. Yet, it hinders my relationships within my own home. If I have been overloaded socially at work, I come home to a wife who misses my company and I just want to be left alone. It is hard because it is to a point outside of my control how much interaction I get, especially with multiple roles at work requiring multiple interactions. As an introvert, I relate to song lyrics often, this time being no different.

Linkin Park's new cd has a song with a chorus that goes like this:

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?
You build up hope but failure's all you've known.
Remember all the sadness and frustration
And let it go. Let it go.


I don't really feel cold or lost in desperation, but the part I like is the last: remember all the sadness and frustration and let it go. This is one of those lessons I learn over and over again and keeps coming back so I can tweak it and adjust it until I am a calm individual who doesn't yell at inanimate objects or people who can't hear me. Unfortunately, this probably won't happen for a very long time. Anyway. Thank goodness for the internet where I can interact with other people without interacting with actual people, just their digital representations. :)

Truth.....or....Bliss.

The coined term "Ignorance is Bliss" seems to be the argument, whether spoken or not that is the predominant message getting across when an opponent argues for the uncovering of truth. The recent publication on wikileaks of more war logs got me thinking a little bit about truth vs. ignorance. I understand both sides of the argument to a degree. Truth side says that 'people' deserve to know the truth. The other side says 'people' are better off not knowing, or, the DoD is better off with the public not knowing, etc. etc.
What has happened in the past? Have we not had whistle blowers who have uncovered ugly truths about other wars? Vietnam quickly became a scar on our military and political history that we can't get over, partially thanks to whistle blowers. We now know from that experience the mistakes we made and what we shouldn't be doing at home and overseas. Did we learn? I suppose many Americans did. Did we learn as a nation? That may be the question.
As a member of our current nations military, I am always being trained on proper conduct. I am told my career depends on it. I am told my future promotions depend on it. I am told the Air Force crumbles if nobody adheres to the principles put forth as to how to conduct ourselves in time of war and in time of peace. Yet on day one, after getting off the plane in our deployed location, the book of conduct changes. Granted, it doesn't change to a significant degree, but the point is that rules change for Americans on non-American land, LOAC or not. Believe it or not, however many books of conduct there are, and however correct they are, they are written by someone in a position of authority over multiple personnel. Otherwise, it wouldn't get made into a book.
the truth vs. bliss argument seems to apply to religion as well. I am speaking specifically about historical aspects. What did the catholic church do to scientists during the dark ages? In the beginning, I am sure these truths were dangerous to know. Now, it is common knowledge. Even today, it isn't common knowledge that Joseph Smith practiced polygamy. Brigham Young is famous for his many wives, but he got it from Joseph and his 30-something sealings to various women. Within the church this isn't common knowledge. 'People' either wish to remain ignorant for it seems more blissful or they just don't know because other 'people' don't want to talk about it.
This brings me to the extent of my thoughts on this for now.
Why? Why do 'people' wish to sweep these sorts of things under the rug? To me it seems that it is an embarrassing aspect of history they seem to be attached to or partially responsible for. Conduct of military personnel overseas is kept quiet because our authorities know about it, knew about it, condoned it and are embarrassed by it.
Conduct of religious leaders isn't fully understood, thus kept quiet. 'People' don't know how to take it or interpret it so they pretend it isn't relevant and either try to hide it, ignore it, or deny it.
There are many examples of truth vs. bliss. These are instances that I am more familiar with. I'm not running on too much brain power today so I didn't take it very deep. Just in case I do eventually, I have something to springboard off of.

Publicity

What is it about publicity that gives authority?
Is it the fact that people get paid to go on tv/radio? Is that where the authority comes from? Whether it be acting or reporting news or playing a role in the media, people are getting paid to talk in front of a mic and read cue cards and ad lib about whatever that particular channel wants them to. Somehow our culture tells us there is a certain amount of authority that automatically comes with those roles. Otherwise what option do we have to conclude with?
Let us not forget the people that get paid to perform on tv/radio, yet do not act but perform in competition. Our professional athletes are raised on a pedestal as well.
We have been shown time and again that these roles are a let down. We have been shown that we obviously put too much 'authority' into these roles than they are fit for. Whether they tout such 'authority' or not, we have been shown that they cannot keep upright the ideals, principles or ethics that they have been given by us.
Another form of publicity is in written form. Some unethical politician or wannabe politician writes a book (or ghost writes a book), and suddenly they assume some authority on what they are writing, they hold weight in the public arena as long as their book gets in the hands of the public.
The only reason why I don't have this 'authority' is because I have the disadvantage of not being in this public arena. Do you ever wonder what you would do or say if you knew millions or at least thousands would at some time see it? What would you say to America? What do you find are your frustrations after listening to someone you thought represented your worldview, or you thought you looked up to but just didn't quite say what they should have? The only difference here is limelight, popularity and pedestal.
This chain of thought leads me to think of our forefathers. What made them special? No cameras around, no radio, yet the written word was ever present. The written word got their ideas out and made them popular. Next thing you know they hash out some things that are still affecting all Americans today. Yet people had to read. People had to invest time in what they wanted to find out about politics and news. The mix up today with news and entertainment in our current media spoon feeds our preset worldviews and we unconsciously entrench our minds in a perspective that could be completely false, is most likely misrepresented, and is spewed out of a mouth that has no intelligence, real authority on the subject and few if any principles to stand on.

What am I talking about? I just snapped out of it and realized I was just typing words...

What?

I don't know much about all the processes and behind-the-scenes action that goes on with politicians. I came across a movie trailer about gerrymandering, or redistricting and it opened my eyes. They even use a quote from our current President that tells us that one person's vote won't mean anything because of it. Of course, if nobody votes, or if the entire country votes one way, it wouldn't matter how you redistrict, but it struck a chord inside that made me a little less shameful for any year I decide not to vote. If you know the city you live in, or the political district, even better, you might be able to make an educated guess as to how you will be grouped for an election. Does this happen for all elections? Are the people being manipulated at every turn? Why isn't this a slightly bigger issue? It just makes me even less enthused about the processes politics have espoused and we the common people have allowed them to do so. My faith in our system has left the building. There is no representation, no matter how much our worldviews align-that is merely coincidence. There is no 'for the people' when there are so many voices 'the people' have. A representative can pick and choose which voices he/she aligns with and still make a case that they represent 'the people'. How about this: we all get a representative in D.C. Every political viewpoint gets a voice. They can all gather and argue in Washington just like they do today only we know exactly what group they represent, where their money comes from, what kind of ethical code and moral conduct they carry, and what to expect from them come legislation time. That way, we aren't guessing what the Dems or the Gop parties will be doing next, changing next in their own party, or attacking internally. If a group wants their rep. out, they kick them out and put a new one in. They are responsible. States have minimal power nowadays anyway. This could do away with two-party politics as well. Fire Fox news and Msnbc, do away with two-party politics, gets reps in gov't. who actually represent all walks of life, get rid of the plethora of 'tricks' they play to maximize their winning hand, and maybe then we could stop hearing about the idiocracy being carried out in completely-out-of-touch-ville, er, Washington.
But I digress......gerrymandering is stupid.

I should stay out of this one...

http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=1275

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_mormon_church_protest

I find it more interesting than anything else. Ever since Prop 8 in Cali., this political issue has been hotter than any others when it comes to faithful Saints and church policy. I also find it interesting about how talks change after conference. This isn't the first time it has happened as I have experienced it firsthand. My understanding is everything is ready to go well before conference. If so, why the need to edit after?

A Real Fear

What is worse than a horrible candidate for an important office such as senate or President, where the candidate knows little more about politics, history or much of anything for that matter than your average second grader?
The fact that these people actually represent a good percentage of Americans and those Americans don't see anything wrong with the picture and will vote for them. Christine O'Donnell, Sarah Palin and Sharron Angle are just a few names that come to mind presently. I admit they represent one side of the political spectrum and one can find good examples from any political sway....but we all know which side I despise less.

Southern Baptist Leader Ignorant

(Since I don't have facebook or twitter, my blog is slowly becoming a social update tool, as effective as that is may still need further evaluation).

So a Southern Baptist leader apparently claims yoga is directly contradictory to Christianity. I don't know much about the deeper aspects of yoga, but I am going to assume the popular yoga practices done among the mainstream American yoga classes is a bit less than harmful or contradictory to faithful or semi-faithful Christians.
Thus, I claim that this so-called leader is a horrible one and doesn't know Christianity, rather, he knows a superficial facade of Christianity....a shell of a belief system if you will. Of course, I claim most people proclaiming adherence to the Christian faith is doing the same thing, not going much deeper than what the occasional sermon from a lost or black sheep teaches them.

Belief

I have been thinking a lot about belief as of late. A big reason for this is due to a very hostile person at work who likes to bring religion up, but turns into a pompous jerk who belittles others and demeans their beliefs. He claims he doesn't do this but it is quite clear to a returned missionary.
I haven't put my finger on it yet, but it seems that many people, no matter their belief system has quite an arrogant worldview. As if they had inside information that nobody else knew about. I myself am guilty of this of course since I belong to a restorationist church which believes they have restored what has been lost since Christ set up his church in the beginning. Yet, I am very cognizant of this fact and try to break myself of it constantly.
It is amazing to me though how hostile people can get and how unwilling people are to talk to each other rather than talking at each other and having the conversation just fly by and land nowhere. I also find it amazing how closed off a certain worldview or set of beliefs can be. How impossible it is to integrate a new idea into a worldview that is already established. How utterly ridiculous it is to be able to accept something for what it is, and not for what others say it is or how others view it.
I am sad really to be surrounded by such minds. Minds that have stopped expanding. Minds that are as stubborn as any. A favorite quote of mine touches on this very topic: "Be unafraid of new ideas for they are as steppingstones to progress. You will of course respect the opinions of others but be unafraid to dissent -- if you are informed...only error needs to fear freedom of expression" Hugh B. Brown.
It is quite easy to explain this quote from any worldview, as the last bit talks about error. One can assume that any view not espoused by them is in error. The key to the quote is progress and being unafraid to test new waters, new ideas. If they don't fit, they don't fit, but only you can decide that for yourself.
The arrogance and self-righteous stubborn stupidity I have to drudge through I am sure is familiar to all. Yet it is making me quite nauseous and weary. What happens to a mind to prompt such attitude? "Oh, well I have read so many books in the so many years on this planet, so I know everything." Or, "The books and education I obtained is clearly superior to yours so I am not going to listen to you as it is also clear you have nothing to contribute."

Another day, another rant. I seem to be quite full of whining as of late, ay?

Day late, dollar short.

So now that it's October, I managed to do more bike riding than I did all spring and summer (over a week's period. The century, 'tour de cure' with Andy was the single longest ride I did in June). I did 105 miles just this week (not very impressive compared to Andy, I know), over the span of three rides. I got excited about losing a bit of weight that I gained since 2008, and the Air Force has revamped the PT program yet again, putting the stress on passing the test on everyone a bit more. I have done more running this year than ever before, but since I can't ride a lot of the winter, I feel the need to get out on my bike. The AF Academy is a perfect place to ride in the Springs. Much less traffic, bigger shoulders for the most part, and good climbing on a 12-mile circuit course. Anyway, it felt good to do so much riding after being bike-lazy all year.

http://www.clpearson.com/Elder%20Marlin%20K.%20Jensen%20Listens%20to%20Prop%208%20Pain.pdf

Year one: Home run

So year one for peach harvest was a huge success. We decided to make 5 batches quart size and the rest (so far...we are thinking of doing 24 pint size jars with the rest) went in freezer bags. A big thank you to Danelle for getting us started :). We estimated we harvested at least 90% of all peaches and we brought in, in modest numbers an estimated 325-350 peaches from medium to large size. It was quite enjoyable and we learned quite a bit for next year (such as thinning the tree out).

4D Ultrasound

Here are two of the 4D ultrasound pics from Sarah's 29 week appointment. The skull is being blocked by shadows in case you were wondering if we have an underdeveloped child in the womb.

Gripes and Complaints

Since I don't have a social networking account, those who read my blog have to bear with me as I unload some more griping and complaining.

There is a coworker who made it perfectly clear that he supports a national day for burning the Quran which happens to be on Sept. 11. His first line of logic was 'they burn our American flag, why can't we burn the Quran?' I told him to let me know if he goes through with it so I can join him and burn the Bible alongside. Everyone around proceeded to berate him and insult him. 'Excuse him, he's from the south'. 'Do you have any idea how completely out of context it is to compare the flag to the Quran?'

Speaking of.
I am not sure I even want to get into this retard who is still considering burning the Quran. What planet do you live on? How dare you call yourself an American. I'm not patriotic, but I sure know how to spot someone who has no idea what they have as an American: one way to tell - religious idiocy like this. Every Christian and American should be ashamed to be associated with this selfish hatemonger.

Another coworker likes to make right-wing comments as well. Boulder Colorado is battling wildfires and just under 200 homes have been destroyed. He made comments about how all of Boulder hopefully should go up in flames because of their liberal tendencies. Let's not mention the fact that all of Colorado votes left with the exception of the Springs. Why? Maybe the 5 military bases that populate the city? The guy collects guns and knows more about the worlds guns than he does about anything else.

Shifting gears.
I have a 30 minute drive to work one way. I constantly do shift work. There is a 8 mile stretch of highway from the Springs to Schriever. The complete morons that live and work between the Springs and Ellicott absolutely have to drive with their brights at night. It seems about half of these morons have half a brain to turn them off at some point when they see oncoming traffic. The highway is 60 mph and mostly straight. Turn off your friggin' brights! If you need them to drive, you shouldn't be on the road.

Back to 9/11.
When the mosque debate first came out, someone said that if we tried to build a church 'over there' they would do much worse to those Christians than what we are doing here. What? You are comparing us to countries with national religions? This isn't even logical to bring up. How long have Muslims been in America? That's right, over 130 years. Over half of our nations freedom of religion history.

Official Aid.
Once a year squadron reps. go around and ask for money for different types of assistance funds. Two primary organizations are internal aid for other AF members and external aid to a number of agencies who distribute funds to poorer countries, or help in time of crises or natural disasters. Before I get into my rant I want to start with a disclaimer that I have nothing against aiding my fellow AF member. One can join like I did with a wife and child to support and I am standing next to the single fellow and our base pay is the same. The majority of the need for the aid stems from horrible financing. One cannot pay all the bills. What are those bills? Credit cards, car loans, etc. I am getting to the point. When these representatives come around asking for money, you are almost lucky to even hear about the external aid options. Yet, when the internal aid rep. comes around they hound you almost until you give them something. Their guidance tells them they have to contact everyone, not badger them out of their paycheck. Never mind the starving and desolate, think about the airman who can't afford his big screen tv or speed bike.

Don't ask, don't tell.
Normally, I sway to the left nowadays on a lot of issues. This one I cannot see how it would work out where the military would be effective with gays openly serving. Don't get me wrong, I fully support their right to serve if they want. I merely don't see how it would work. You go to war and you are spending a lot of time is close quarters with fellow servicemen. Even if one deploys with a spouse, there is often no leniency for any type of 'relations' to go on under approval. I cannot see how gays, open or not would survive close quarter living conditions with the majority of heterosexual servicemen or women. There are safety concerns first and foremost for both parties which lead to the effectiveness of a squadron to accomplish their mission. There are simply too many factors that complicate this issue to resolve it by merely taking 'Don't ask, don't tell' away. So for the judge in California I say, too soon.

My last gripe and complaint.
Fox news.
I wouldn't complain about it normally because I avoid it as much as possible. Yet when the tv is on at work and it is right above your workstation, and it has to be a news channel during the weekday, the majority of commanders turn on fox news and the majority of people's cognitive abilities are downgraded significantly because of that.

Brothers

I am so grateful I have two older brothers that, combined, have a bank of knowledge that is extremely useful for me. I called on that bank today by way of Bryan. He knows quite a bit about plant life, big and small. I have been pruning back the overgrown backyard of mine and thought, after a long while, that Bryan must have something to say about it. I proceeded to apply his advice to two trees with pretty big branches growing at the base of the lead trunk. One was angling over our back fence into the old folks home property. Not only did I bend the chain on my chainsaw, but I allowed the big branch to fall on my fence. After struggling with it for an hour and coming back to it after FHE, my retired neighbor saw me and got mad for not asking for help. We finally got it over to my property and I let him go. Tomorrow brings a new chain, I think I'll rent a wood chipper and hopefully a cleaner yard (I pruned a lot today and have a heap of branches bigger than I can shake a stick at).

Thanks Bryan!
If a few family members could get together and see if they could occupy dad tonight so he doesn't come give me nightmares, that'd be great :)

Sensitive

A Squadron Commander of one of the SOPS on Schriever AFB wrote a little article after a Lieutenant committed suicide in his squadron. The Lt. kept the problems he was having mostly to himself, at least not letting supervision know. In the article this Lieutenant Colonel alluded to some things that kind of irked me. First, he said that human life is worth more than anything. He didn't expound on that, saying something like, 'we should be sacrificing everything else to save a human life, especially a life owned by the U.S. government.' At least he didn't say something like that. The article was actually heartfelt for the most part. I immediately thought of all the principles a conservative Christian military member is supposed to live by and how they are worth more than a human life. Anyway, on to the second irk. Military supervision seems to think that all suicidal people give away signs and are asking for help. They seem to think that the programs in place that the military and civilian contractors offer should save 100% of all suicides. They get all ruffled up when a suicide happens and they didn't stop it. It's surprising to me that high-ranking officers don't realize that not all suicides can be pigeon-holed like that, and it also surprises me (at least a little) that they don't realize the complexities and ignorance that is inherently packaged within the military.
If I was suicidal today, I would have zero faith in any program the Air Force or the military in general had to offer me. Thinking about those programs actually makes me more suicidal than I would be normally. If I was depressed like I was in 7th grade, I would be different, not suicidal, but still wary of the help the military had to offer. I realize they try. But I also realize they are obligated to. I just wish ignorance didn't crawl all the way up to leadership. They are supposed to be at least a little smarter than your average grunt that doesn't necessarily exist to them on a day-to-day basis.
I realize there are people reading this that have close experience with this topic. I also realize that my experience is limited. Suicide is a disheartening subject in which many questions are left unanswered and even unasked due to their sensitivity to those loved ones left behind. I hate to say it, but the military only truly cares about you if you are dead, and only then if it is while serving. They do everything they can to prevent it (haha), because you are government property but in the end, as long as you are doing your job and staying out of trouble, the concern for your welfare doesn't get past your immediate supervisor, if it gets to that person at all.
Granted, this is 6 1/2 years of experience talking, being both a supervisee and supervisor. Hearing leaders talk to me as both and dealing with my own and my supervised's problems.
I am just saying that a smart individual, bogged down with a skewed worldview such as to bring serious thoughts of suicide, isn't necessarily in the mindset to seek help. The intelligence can potentially backfire here and help mask the problem and thwart any attempts by outside sources to intervene. The military is ignorant of this possibility.

Unthinkable

As some of you are aware, I spend a lot of time watching movies. Since I don't usually choose what is to be watched, we often watch 'R' rated movies minus anything with nudity. Recently we watched 'Unthinkable' with Samuel L. Jackson. The point of the movie was to take a personal inventory as to how you feel about torturing terrorists. The terrorism took place within the United States and the suspect had information involving three planted nuclear bombs in very populous cities. The terrorist happened to be a United States citizen with a wife and two children. So, 4 lives versus millions is what it boils down to for the high ranking individuals tasked to save us from terror. The movie also implied that if the three bombs did go off, we would be faced with a Constitution-less nation and government. So, 4 individuals vs. millions plus the United States as we know it. Where does one draw the line? The spectrum ranges from a zero tolerance to torture policy all the way to a zero tolerance for terrorism policy (do whatever necessary to get answers). What is at stake? Our morality as a nation vs. our freedoms and potentially our lives. Why our morality? Is it against our moral code to torture someone to confess something in order to save many innocent lives? What about the conviction that we have the best possible government at this time? How far are we willing to go to ensure the Constitution stays intact? (In a way, allowing torture, especially of an American citizen goes directly against the Constitution). The reasoning was the fact that the threat included a very short timeline for the bombs to detonate. There was literally no time for due process. The suspect deliberately allowed himself to be turned in to prove a point about torture, yet it didn't make that apparent in the movie, only to the movies audience. Everyone involved would be able to keep things quiet from public knowledge, so that part didn't make sense to me. In any case, it is something to think about I suppose.

The Complete Realist

“No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After all, you find out the strength of the German army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down.

“A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ, because he was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means–the only complete realist.”

- C.S. Lewis, from Mere Christianity

I love this quote very much, but what gets me thinking is the last line in it. Christ has been called many things, but this, 'complete realist' title is quite different and less popular. To me, there is much to contemplate in this idea and I am far from getting to the real chunk of the iceberg under the water. For now, the idea is straight from the dictionary: Jesus represents things how they really are. This is interesting to me. I have no idea what temptation means. First, we learn that we have no idea what suffering means compared to Christ. Now we learn that we have no idea what temptation means compared to Christ, not to mention what love means, or aligning our will and lives perfectly with Father....the list goes on. It also makes you wonder what other dimension is added to our quest toward Godhood: to know what temptation truly means.