Satan's Plan.....modified.

I often wonder about the spirit child once called Lucifer, son of the morning. Great potential, I am sure at one point very close to his slightly older brother and other siblings and his Father. I can imagine everything going wrong with him when favor fell on Jesus, the firstborn. Maybe this fueled his contempt for Father and how Lucifer wanted neither of them to have privilege and power. Is this where it came from? Ambition and selfishness? Surely he must have been smarter than that, yet could emotion do that much to us without a physical body? As a son of the morning with so much potential, I find it hard to believe Lucifer believed his plan could work, except for one thing. Lucifer succeeded in gathering a following of 33%. I know presidencies have been lost with much greater percentages, but we aren't talking Democrat vs. Republican. We are talking our second estate. We are talking about the potential of God losing his glory.

Does that say something about God, or does it say something about his plan? Right now I am thinking the plan is pretty crappy, but I am subduing my universalism a bit. Surely all is not lost ad infinitum for 33/100 of our spirit brothers and sisters who thought Lucifer had something. We have all undoubtedly fought for something under misdirection or misinformation. I can't see how we could have battled it out in the war of heaven under half-truths though.

This all brings me to my running theme this summer. I have heard one scripture twice this week in two different settings, completely unrelated to each other. Found in Ether, it is the familiar, 'I give men weakness so that they may become humble...' What struck me was that first phrase: I give men weakness. Really? I understand the concept, but is that a little off sounding if you think about it too much? We talk about all the gifts God gives us before we came and during our lives here. What about the anti-gifts? What about those things called weaknesses? Did God give King David a sexual weakness so that he may become more humble after he fell? A man learns humility through relying on God and the Atonement to become strong. All men fall. Do all men fall in part because God gave us these weaknesses? I am willing to bet that this scripture does not apply to Jesus. God also knew that after losing 33/100 children to outer darkness, he would continue to 'lose' children to lower kingdoms where, we are currently taught, that there is no progress - you are damned. By the numbers, it doesn't seem very successful. (Enter Universalism).

All I want is to be with my family and get away from all the sadness in the world and go back home. Given the perspective that this life is merely a glimpse, I am willing to bet the drug addict, the serial killer, the abused orphan that steals on the streets, the prostitute....all want the same thing more or less. Yet the plan doesn't teach us this. Yes the Atonement heals. Yes people will be raised to perfection and 'happiness'. Yet they don't get their Father back except temporally.

So I was thinking about all this and about the pathetic times in our lives when we just want to give up.....or....
Instead of giving up, do you ever want to just be led? In pre-earth we are led. As children we are led. We are given boundaries and crayons, or a yard and we grew and played. At the end of the day we were that much more god-like just as happy, and safe in mommy's and daddy's arms. Aside from the fact that this concept destroys faith, I often wonder if it could be done a bit different. Laman and Lemuel saw angels all the time and yet fought vehemently against the scoldings they received from them.

I have been having dreams of my dad of late. I can't parallel it to any reasoning in my current life for having them, but I have had a few in the last few weeks about random memories. I went to work at the bishops storehouse for him in one. They were pleasant dreams. I miss him, as I am sure most would in a similar situation. I would miss my children even more after such a brief time being with them. The bond my dad had to me, I can therefore presume was stronger than the one I had with him. Yet that is the closest thing I have aside from the veiled sentiments of pre-earth relationships.

One thing that softens the blow of this plan: The supposed length of time we are here. So many of Father's children crumble under the strain of mortality, I could not bear to witness it for much more than a few seconds. The statistical perspective on the plan is just so overwhelming. Maybe I'll go watch a movie that makes me cry over somebody's pure love or some crap like that.