huh?

Tonight there is a lot on my mind. I probably won't write about everything making a mess in my noggin but I thought I'd post some ramblings nonetheless.

Why do we as a society look to our government for answers? Why are we less involved in those groups or clubs that attempt to do things themselves? Why do we look not only to our government, but to the President for answers? Yeah sure the office has a lot of power to influence our lives, yet if the country is doing great, we blame the Pres., if the country is doing poorly, we blame the Pres.. We seem to have become not only disconnected from the success and failure of our own country, but we seem to have grown into a sort of laziness about fixing society, and wait for the government to fix it for us.

My thoughts are that we need to reduce what we think of the government. We may not even need to do anything to change the democratic rule in place, only change the mindset of the people being ruled. Are communities not supposed to support themselves? Is a state no more than a boundary line with certain numbers that pertain only to elections? Now, it may not be this extreme, but in many ways, a lot of citizens go about their business with this mentality, and this, in my opinion, is one reason we not only have a broken economy, but also corruption on every level, more crime than ever, and a society where we possibly go years without even knowing our neighbors. It brings at least one other question to my mind: How big should our government be locally and nationally, and how big is it in comparison? I agree we have the right number in the House, we have the correct size pertaining to the Judiciary, Legislative and Executive branches...I think I am talking more about how big should they be on a power level. Do they have too much power? Do we give them too much power as we look to them for all our answers?

There isn't enough community involvement. We don't care anymore about one another. Corporations only care about their workers to keep productivity at a maximum. Neighborhoods only care about one another for self interest, which is what it boils down to in every aspect of ones life. "Is my self interest being served? If not, I will not waste my time".

I am just as much to blame as the next guy, but it weighs on my mind constantly. Reading "approaching zion" by Hugh Nibley doesn't help, granted, but now that I have started, once I finish, I think it will be one of those books I will always be reading. It is a call to true Christianity, true Humanity. Hugh talks about the evil of money and how we need to live the law of consecration, but we can at least prepare ourselves for that giant step by taking small ones in the right direction. We aren't doing that as communities.

Another thing on my mind is faith. It sure seems easy to be obedient when it is convenient or when it is an easy law to follow. Thou shalt not murder is easy for most and it is very narrow in scope. Following the Prophet is quite different. Your scope is very broad as it encompasses basically every other law given. If you are sinning in any way, you aren't following the Prophet. Yet when the Prophet comes out with a statement stress seems to be placed on being faithful to our leaders of the church who are called of God and lead us as Prophets, Seers and Revelators. Throwing that on an argument just seems to me to be faulty for nobody follows the Prophet like they should. Now when I say this, it would also seem that I am responding to specific words from specific people. The truth is this has also been on my mind for some time.

I don't follow the Prophet as well as I should. Interestingly enough, I equate that to following all the Prophets and following God. Yet I don't see them as interchangeable. I can claim to follow God yet not follow a Prophet. It is easy to take Brigham Young as an example today and talk about how he may not have been speaking as a mouthpiece for God when he taught about the Adam-God theory. Yet what were the Saints saying at the time? Brigham had Apostles directly under him who disagreed. Saints were expected then to do as we are expected now: follow the Prophet. Only time showed that Brigham seemed to be voicing an opinion.

Now I am not saying anything about Gordon Hinckley or Thomas Monson. I am not saying they have been voicing their opinion as men recently. I am only saying that being a "thinking Mormon" has its values. Being able to discern for oneself the value of the letter of the law in comparison to the spirit of the law seems to trump following the Prophet to the "T". Following the Prophet has a broader, more general scope for me than going out and doing what He says right after he says it. We have continuous revelation as a church because we believe this is God's Kingdom here on earth, yet we do nothing to further the kingdom. We live our lives, trying to be good little mormons, teach our children, go to church, fulfill our callings, maintain relationships with others in the spirit of love and follow Christ as close as possible, getting closer and closer everyday. But we are fooling ourselves, all of us. We gripe with each other over our 'lesser' government and its practices. We hurt relationships when we don't agree with each other. WHY ON EARTH....?

I am tired of life. I really am. I'm not suicidal by any means, but I seem to be having more bad days than good. It is hard to find the joy in the places I am supposed to find it. It is hard to be happy with so much on my mind that is telling me I am not where I should be. Change is interesting as well. Personal change seems hardest, yet community change, national change and global change is also necessary. I feel so guilty for being American and being a citizen of the greediest, most self-centered nation on the planet. I feel guilty for allowing homeless people to dwell in my community. I feel guilty for not spending more time giving to those people, and why? I could give hundreds of excuses, just like any of us. What a world we live in. Where there are such contrasts in cultures and lifestyles and priorities. Eating and surviving are at the top of the lists, yet we in the U.S. look past that and think about tomorrow and the next day, we think about our t.v.'s and our clothes and our beds and why the government is taxing us so much. We think about our two vehicles and decorating our houses we can't pay for for years.

Am I the only one thinking about all of this? Are we not a gross culture? We have been given gifts from God and we get sick off of them like a 4 year old on Halloween. Yet I do nothing. All I do is type on my laptop, continue to worry about homework from a class that cost more money than certain people of this world won't see in a lifetime. I will go to bed on my tempurpedic mattress I bought with tax return money this year, in a central air house with three bedrooms. I will rest easy because I don't think about the freezing homeless in Rapid City or the starving children of the world. I know Jesus loves me, but I also know He is ashamed that I call myself a Christian. Jesus spent His life among the sinners and homeless and sick. I go about my business like they aren't real.

Campaigners spend more money than I would like to remember just to advertise for being elected. Where does all that money go? We spend more money on useless things like that, fooling ourselves into thinking that they are important. I am ashamed tonight to even associate myself with humans. We are disgusting. These may seem like extremely harsh words, but deep down, I think most of you can agree with me. Yes, there are good people in the world, trying desperately to right these wrongs. Yes, there are great politicians although I have yet to see any, for if they are great, they would change things like the campaigning expenditures, or the negative advertising. We live in a world where two men bicker on tv and radio about how he can be better than the other because the other one is just plain evil.

It is also interesting to think about one other thing.
This election brought some topics up again that gets between people and causes division. What is interesting is that the two people involved agree on much of the issue at hand. Morally, the two are in harmony. Is this morally wrong? Yes. Should the government do something about it...................? Why does that split two people so much? What is it about the laws of the land that get us so heated? It isn't about whether abortion or gay marriage is right or wrong, it is whether the government should be involved. It is fascinating, again, to see how we turn to the government for all our answers.