Since I got back to South Dakota, I have been endlessly searching for anything with meaning to apply to myself. Anything to give my life meaning. I read my hymnbook at work, listen to songs and read their lyrics, I even bought my first poetry book, similar to the many found on my dad's front room shelves. I have also found new meaning in being not only Christian, but Latter-Day Saint. Everything seems different now and I just feel different about my theology and spirituality. As I look for new meaning, I also find myself slowly floating away and downward. It seems that my subconscious is trying to save me by finding depth in my life through poetry or whatever, because I am losing traction. It seems my relationships aren't where I want them, it seems my place at work isn't where I want it...
It is amazing the peace you feel in one instance, then the next the world and all its creulty is there making sure you get distracted from it. Not forget it entirely, just distracted. In all the works I have found some sort of application in the words, I just feel like posting one today. It is called "Kite" by U2. Bono wrote it for his dad after his death and dedicates it to him. There seems to be a lot of similarities, but maybe I am looking too hard.
Kite
Something is about to give
I can feel it coming
I think I know what it is
I'm not afraid to die
I'm not afraid to live
And when I'm flat on my back
I hope to feel like I did
‘Cause hardness, it sets in
You need some protection
The thinner the skin
I want you to know
That you don't need me anymore
I want you to know
You don't need anyone, anything at all
Who's to say where the wind will take you
Who's to know what it is will break you
I don't know which way the wind will blow
Who's to know when the time has come around
Don't wanna see you cry
I know that this is not goodbye
In summer I can taste the salt in the sea
There's a kite blowing out of control on a breeze
I wonder what's gonna happen to you
You wonder what has happened to me
I'm a man, I'm not a child
A man who sees
The shadow behind your eyes
Who's to say where the wind will take you
Who's to know what it is will break you
I don't know where the wind will blow
Who's to know when the time has come around
I don't wanna see you cry
I know that this is not goodbye
Did I waste it?
Not so much I couldn't taste it
Life should be fragrant
Roof top to the basement
The last of the rock stars
When hip hop drove the big cars
In the time when new media
Was the big idea
That was the big idea
Happy Birthday Dad.
One of my favorite things about you is that you aren't afraid to be yourself or to admit who and what you are. You are sincere, and you're never fake. Dad was that same way, and I really admire that in you both. Love ya :)
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