Monday, August 30, 2010

Brothers

I am so grateful I have two older brothers that, combined, have a bank of knowledge that is extremely useful for me. I called on that bank today by way of Bryan. He knows quite a bit about plant life, big and small. I have been pruning back the overgrown backyard of mine and thought, after a long while, that Bryan must have something to say about it. I proceeded to apply his advice to two trees with pretty big branches growing at the base of the lead trunk. One was angling over our back fence into the old folks home property. Not only did I bend the chain on my chainsaw, but I allowed the big branch to fall on my fence. After struggling with it for an hour and coming back to it after FHE, my retired neighbor saw me and got mad for not asking for help. We finally got it over to my property and I let him go. Tomorrow brings a new chain, I think I'll rent a wood chipper and hopefully a cleaner yard (I pruned a lot today and have a heap of branches bigger than I can shake a stick at).

Thanks Bryan!
If a few family members could get together and see if they could occupy dad tonight so he doesn't come give me nightmares, that'd be great :)

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Sensitive

A Squadron Commander of one of the SOPS on Schriever AFB wrote a little article after a Lieutenant committed suicide in his squadron. The Lt. kept the problems he was having mostly to himself, at least not letting supervision know. In the article this Lieutenant Colonel alluded to some things that kind of irked me. First, he said that human life is worth more than anything. He didn't expound on that, saying something like, 'we should be sacrificing everything else to save a human life, especially a life owned by the U.S. government.' At least he didn't say something like that. The article was actually heartfelt for the most part. I immediately thought of all the principles a conservative Christian military member is supposed to live by and how they are worth more than a human life. Anyway, on to the second irk. Military supervision seems to think that all suicidal people give away signs and are asking for help. They seem to think that the programs in place that the military and civilian contractors offer should save 100% of all suicides. They get all ruffled up when a suicide happens and they didn't stop it. It's surprising to me that high-ranking officers don't realize that not all suicides can be pigeon-holed like that, and it also surprises me (at least a little) that they don't realize the complexities and ignorance that is inherently packaged within the military.
If I was suicidal today, I would have zero faith in any program the Air Force or the military in general had to offer me. Thinking about those programs actually makes me more suicidal than I would be normally. If I was depressed like I was in 7th grade, I would be different, not suicidal, but still wary of the help the military had to offer. I realize they try. But I also realize they are obligated to. I just wish ignorance didn't crawl all the way up to leadership. They are supposed to be at least a little smarter than your average grunt that doesn't necessarily exist to them on a day-to-day basis.
I realize there are people reading this that have close experience with this topic. I also realize that my experience is limited. Suicide is a disheartening subject in which many questions are left unanswered and even unasked due to their sensitivity to those loved ones left behind. I hate to say it, but the military only truly cares about you if you are dead, and only then if it is while serving. They do everything they can to prevent it (haha), because you are government property but in the end, as long as you are doing your job and staying out of trouble, the concern for your welfare doesn't get past your immediate supervisor, if it gets to that person at all.
Granted, this is 6 1/2 years of experience talking, being both a supervisee and supervisor. Hearing leaders talk to me as both and dealing with my own and my supervised's problems.
I am just saying that a smart individual, bogged down with a skewed worldview such as to bring serious thoughts of suicide, isn't necessarily in the mindset to seek help. The intelligence can potentially backfire here and help mask the problem and thwart any attempts by outside sources to intervene. The military is ignorant of this possibility.